Sunday evening arrives and your child starts asking about the next morning. A stomach ache appears while the uniform is being put out, or a familiar argument begins before you have reached the front door. Perhaps your child gets into school but spends the day overwhelmed, then falls apart at home. School anxiety can take different forms, and parents can feel caught between recognising genuine distress and not knowing what will make tomorrow more manageable.
I work with children from age seven and with teenagers at AbsoluteU in Horsham, near Crawley, and online. I have training in paediatric hypnotherapy and adapt the work to the young person. When school is the difficulty, we need to understand what school feels like for them and what support is already in place.
Hypnotherapy may be one part of that support, alongside practical changes, communication with school and appropriate health or educational assessment. My hypnotherapy for anxiety page explains my overall approach with children, teenagers and adults.
Finding out which part of school feels difficult
“I don’t want to go” can cover many different experiences. A child might worry about separating from a parent, getting something wrong in class, being called on to speak or not knowing who to sit with at lunch. For another young person, noise, crowded spaces, bullying, learning difficulties or unmet support needs may be central. We should not assume the problem is simply an anxious habit or that the same answer will suit every child.
It can help to look for differences across the day. Is the hardest moment leaving home, entering the gate, a particular lesson or break time? Are some days noticeably easier, and what is different about them? A young person may find it easier to describe one moment, draw it or rate how difficult it feels than explain school as a whole. Their account deserves attention, including when it does not match what adults see from the outside.
Physical complaints also need appropriate attention. Anxiety can occur alongside stomach aches or headaches, but the timing alone does not establish their cause. If symptoms are persistent, new or concerning, speak to a GP. School attendance difficulties may involve several factors at once, and therapy should not delay investigating health concerns or addressing something harmful in the school environment.
Understanding distress around attendance
Some families hear the term emotionally based school avoidance, or EBSA, when emotional distress makes attendance difficult. It is a broad description, not an explanation of everything a particular child needs. Missing school can leave a young person worried about returning, catching up or answering questions from classmates. At the same time, simply insisting that they feel safe may overlook a problem that still needs to change.
The West Sussex EBSA resources emphasise early support, listening and working with the young person, parents and school. A useful plan should be individual and reviewed as circumstances change. A trusted contact in school can help families discuss what is difficult and what adjustments may be needed. Therapy can support a young person’s response, but it cannot substitute for making an unsuitable or unsafe situation better.
What hypnotherapy sessions can involve
We start by getting to know the young person and understanding what they would like to be easier. Their goals may sound different from an adult’s: being able to eat lunch, ask to leave the classroom appropriately or walk through the entrance without feeling overwhelmed. Using their own language helps make the work relevant. The first conversation also gives us a chance to consider whether hypnotherapy is suitable and how it would fit with existing support.
I may use imagery, storytelling, focused attention and practical CBT techniques in a way that suits the child’s age and preferences. We might rehearse one part of the morning or practise responding to a familiar worry with more flexibility.
There is no requirement to close their eyes, like a particular story or describe an experience in detail before they are ready. A teenager may prefer a more direct discussion. Their feedback helps us adapt the approach.
The aim is to build usable skills and confidence around situations that have been understood, rather than make the young person accept any situation without question. My main anxiety page explains the broader approach. Evidence for hypnotherapy specifically for school attendance difficulties is limited, so I do not promise a return to school within a set number of appointments or assume children will improve faster than adults.
“One parent told me how their ten-year-old, who had been in tears most mornings before school, began walking through the school gates with confidence after just a few sessions. They noticed not only fewer anxious outbursts but also a much happier child at home.”
Supporting the mornings and the time between sessions
Parents often want to know what to say when the same question returns or distress rises before leaving. We can explore a response that acknowledges the feeling and refers back to a plan the child understands. A calmer routine may help, but it needs to fit the actual difficulty. Preparing a bag the evening before will not resolve bullying, and a breathing exercise cannot remove a sensory demand that has become overwhelming.
It can be useful to agree one small, realistic goal and notice what helps or hinders it. Progress may include a young person telling an adult what they need, settling more easily after school or participating in an agreed step. Attendance matters, but it is not the only sign of wellbeing. We should consider how much distress a child is carrying, whether support is working and whether the plan needs changing.
If anxiety is persistent, worsening or significantly affecting daily life, involve a GP and the school’s relevant support staff. The NHS information on anxiety in children explains assessment and treatment options. Parents should not have to manage a prolonged difficulty alone while waiting for one technique to solve it.
Frequently asked questions
Their willingness matters. We can explain the approach, answer questions and see whether it feels suitable, without presenting therapy as something being done to make them comply. If they are reluctant or need a different form of support, we should take that seriously and discuss the options.
We can discuss their communication, sensory and support needs and whether my approach is suitable. Suitability should be considered individually, including existing professional advice and any adjustments needed. Hypnotherapy does not remove neurodivergence or replace educational assessment and support.
There is no reliable number for every child. We will agree appropriate goals, discuss parental involvement and review how things are developing. If the work is not helping, or wider needs become apparent, we will discuss a different approach or additional support. Current appointment options are on the fees page.
Discuss support for your child
You can contact me for a free initial telephone consultation to talk about the school difficulties, your child’s age and any support already in place. Sessions are available at Roffey Park Institute in Horsham, near Crawley, and online where appropriate. We can consider whether working together would be suitable before arranging therapy.
